bbaier.com

Oh look. It’s a smartly designed website……and look at that; my name is at the top of the page. I don’t understand how this could have happened. What is more troubling is the fact that I haven’t updated since October. Maybe I’m just not cut out for this sort of thing. Maybe my “I’d rather not update my website and try and do something more worthwhile” gene is stronger than my “Wow I’d better update its been about 5 minutes people might start to get worried and not know what to do and start jumping off of bridges in the absence of some really great content from my website” gene. But the worst part of it all is that “something more worthwhile” often entails entering the land of Azeroth and playing my character in World of Warcraft, playing some Xbox, PS2, or Gamecube game(yes I now have all 3 consoles), or watching some television program, more often than not some crazy Anime series I’ve decided I love. The long and short of it is that I realized last night that I am the world’s largest nerd. A dork of epic proportions I would be teased mercilessly if I were still in middle school today. And not just for the fact that I am 24 and still in middle school, but more so for the fact that I love Anime, Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Video Games, and other such nerdy endeavors. This Christmas I actually asked for and got a Katana. But alas it has not always been so. Once I was rather normal. I myself seemed to shun such things. I played hockey in high school, I was pretty normal. Now…oh….now.

I think I am having my quarter life crisis. That’s right. I want to be a kid again. And not just any kid, a dorky computer nerd kid. I don’t mind. It’s actually sort of fun. It kind of shields me from the harsh realization that I will have to move on soon and get a real job and go out and be a grownup. I don’t even know if the term “quarter life crisis” is actually a phrase anyone has ever used before, but that is the only way I can describe how I feel. Not that I am particularly unhappy. On the contrary I find joy in the things that I do to be more like a kid again. The thing I don’t understand is what makes adults not want to those sorts of things any more. My parents always told me that one day I would turn on my favorite radio station and I would find that all of the songs I used to love would suddenly be silly. So, what is it that makes us change? More importantly when does this happen?

All I know is that I don’t want it to happen. And even thought everyone tells me it will happen, I don’t really think I’ll “grow up.” I want to be playing video games well into my 80’s. Think of all the great games we will have then. Think of all the fun I will have with my children as they grow and get to experience different games for the first time. Perhaps this generation of ours that grew up with the game industry will never cast it aside and embrace the monotony of adulthood. This is my hope. “All children, except one, grow up.” ~ James M. Barrie